Something unprecedented happened to me last night. I mean, I don't remember it ever happening. I dig deep into my memory bank and I come up empty-handed. I know it sort of happened a few months ago, but last night it felt like I was entering uncharted territory. I cried over the character in my book. As I mentioned a couple weeks ago, I'm reading (or rather, just finished) Jeffrey Eugenides Middlesex. After that last post, I really hit my stride with the book, reading larger excerpts at a time, working my way through the language, escaping into the story and the characters. There were parts where I laughed so hard my stomach hurt. Not since Dave Eggers's A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius had I done that. All through the first 430 pages, I knew what was coming. I knew that Cal was a man who had lived as a girl for 14 years before he discovered himself. But at that moment of self-revelation, I felt as if I were Cal and the world was crumbling. I'd become so immersed in the character, identifying with her as an adolescent and teen. I recognized so many things about myself in her that when she realized she was actually a he and believed herself to be a "monster," I couldn't help but cry tears of pain, confusion, regret, fear. My heart ached as did Cal's for the life and love lost in that moment. Now, I do recall becoming emotional and teary-eyed during Eggers's What is the What? but that was a completely different experience and circumstance. That was a true story and the struggles and warfare were so shocking and devastating that anyone would cry. Cal is a fictional character. And I was not shocked by his story. It's the way Eugenides tells the story that reaches in, grabs your heart and squeezes the tears from it. I remember the first time a book had a strong impact on my life. It was a few years ago when I read Mrs. Dalloway for Literary Analysis. Every student struggled with it. Woolf's style of writing was like none we'd ever seen before. For weeks we read over the same passages 4 and 5 times. We wrote paper after paper about the institution of marriage, the effects of World War II, Clarissa's flippant ways masking her depression, the significance of the color green, the idea of time as cyclical rather than linear. We got so frustrated with the book that we through it across the room, pounded it against our heads, wrote all over it, tore at it like animals. And that last day, we came into class, and we realized that we loved this book. For all the torture that it had put us through, we had lived with that book and with each other and now it was time to say goodbye. My professor (a true idol of mine) sat on the table up front and read to us the last paragraph. She looked up, her eyes met mine, and they were full of tears. We smiled at each other and I reached up and wiped my own eyes. It wasn't the characters or the story I was crying about. It was the experience of reading the book, the act in itself. What a wonderful gift books are to make you feel such things.

In response to my recent request for top ten list ideas, I received some of the following: artists/works of art, pet peeves, cities I want to visit, sexy women over 40, song lyrics, places to meet friends, among many others. I will try to implement a list for each category provided in the weeks to come. But today, I thought I'd start with one of my favorite subjects: sexy women. As I believe strong and sexy go hand in hand, my list includes those women who are not only beautiful physical specimens, but also smart, independent, generous and kind. Reviewing my list, I realize that my choices all possess an unexplainable quality that transcends physical beauty. A certain mystique surrounds her, that je ne se quois. She has IT. And she's over 40. 10. Shohreh Aghdashloo. 56 years. When I first saw Shohreh in "The House of Sand and Fog," I was captivated. Even in a role which required her to play a housewife repressed by the mores and religious beliefs of her Middle Eastern homeland, she exuded kindness, independence, strength and sensuality. Her voice is like the deep purr of some non-existent exotic wild cat that never found its way on the arc. The lilt of her accent reminds one of romantic stories involving Persian princesses in a time long forgotten in today's world. Her talent allows her to introduce such complexity even to the most minor of supporting characters, all the while radiating an unidentifiable charm that instantly entices. 9. Cindy Crawford. 42 yrs. O course a professional model is always going to be beautiful. And the world's top supermodel of all time is no exception. What makes Cindy so special is her down-to-earth attitude and her altruistic heart. Having lost her brother to leukemia, Cindy donates time and money to the cause among dozens of others. Despite her wondrous beauty and unselfish righteousness, she still knows how to laugh and have a good time. 8. Fanny Ardant. 59 years. I love this woman. Most outside of France have no idea who she is, but she is the equivalent of America's Meryl Streep...but alluring and sexy. Her beauty is rare and unusual, yet undeniable. With age comes an intrepid sense of self confidence. She's a solitary figure, shrouded in mystery, independent and apologizes for nothing. 7. Ashley Judd. 40 years.

Ashley's beauty is insane. Her intelligence is intimidating. And her selflessness is inimitable. I can barely understand the words coming out of her gorgeous mouth as she speaks of the countless causes that she holds dear to her heart. 6. Lisa Edelstein. 42 years.

Lisa has always been known for her quirky humor. But with her role on "House," people are finally recognizing her as a talent to be reckoned with. Like all the women on this list, Lisa is a total package: smart, sexy, and talented. Her smile makes me smile. She's just so darn likable. A unique beauty herself, she has the ability to recognize the beauty in those who are a bit odd, or outside of the norm, which is all the more reason to love her. 5. Jennifer Beals. 44 years. It's The Beals. She's the lead actress on a ground-breaking television show. She's a mom. She sings. She participates in triathlons. She's a Yale grad. And she gets better with age. What's more, through her work with The Matthew Shepard Foundation, she has raised awareness about the dangers of hate crimes against homosexuals. The Beals makes this world a better place bit by bit. 4. Monica Bellucci. 44 years.

Oh. My. God. I just....I don't even know what to say. A picture's worth a thousand words. 3. Selma Hayek. 42 years. I don't even know where to begin. There are so many reasons to love Salma. Apart from the fact that she is a bombshell (a term she first thought meant that she was so horrible that she would explode into a million pieces), she single-handedly changed Hollywood's attitude toward Latina actresses in just 13 years. Yes, at first it was hard to accept her talent as an actress as we were so focused on her other bountiful assets. But she reached out and slapped us across the face and said, "Hey! Eyes up here. Listen to me." And we did. And we are so fortunate that we did. Because she has a lot to say and she says it splendidly. 2. Jodie Foster. 45 years. Jodie is the longest standing entry on Lo's list. For the past 16 years, almost everyone I encounter claims that I bear an uncanny resemblance to this woman. That's enough to make me love her right there. But what cannot be ignored is that she is by far one of the best (if not the best) actresses in the world. She has a respect for her craft but doesn't take herself too seriously. She's a magna cum laude Yale grad but she doesn't lord her brilliance over you. She has me rolling with that throaty alto as she spews stories about dressing up for Halloween and hording all the candy. And she's just fucking cool. 1. Mariska Hargitay. 44 years.

Mariska tops the list for so many little reasons. They are little and may seem silly, but how do you choose a number one among such a list. Mariska isn't afraid to make an ass of herself. She often repeats a gangsta rap about herself composed by Ice T and it's truly goofy. Mariska's tough detective on "Law and Order: SVU" contrasts with own character. In life she is witty, sentimental, peaceful and connected. But she has the strength and talent to play the strong yet vulnerable Olivia Benson. Among her many wonderful qualities, she has a love and concern for humanity, lending her time to her very own organization, The Joyful Heart Foundation, among dozens of sexual assault and child abuse organizations.

I don't usually like to write about the books I read until I've completed them, but I'm in the middle of two books right now and I don't think I'll finish either one for a couple of weeks and I'm compelled to write. I did finish Ken Follet's Pillars of the Earth a couple of weeks ago for book club so I suppose I can write about that. I had read his A World Without End, which I wrote about here. Pillars was actually written 19 years before World and takes place in the same village 200 years prior. I guess I read them in the wrong order but it doesn't make that much of a difference. I actually think Pillars is a better book. The writing is better, I like the characters more, and the sex scenes are better. God, I love those sex scenes. But they are pretty much the same book. Pillars is about the building of a cathedral, so in order to understand it better, I read a couple of books about medieval cathedrals and a couple others about medieval castles. I had actually written a paper about Salisbury Cathedral, after which the "Kingsbridge Cathedral" in Pillars is modeled, so I was pretty familiar with the terms, layout and look of the cathedral. Anyway, so I'm on to Possession by A.S. Byatt and Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides. Both books are brilliant. Possession's story is twofold. A pair of modern scholars, Roland and Maude, stumble upon some letters exchanged between each of their favorite poets, Randolph Henry Ash and Christabel LaMotte (who are incidentally made up characters and not actual Victorian poets). Ash and LaMotte fall in love through their letters. It is months before they even meet to consummate the relationship but they experience the gamut of emotions involved in relationships that develop under normal circumstances. What starts off as an innocent friendship and correspondence progresses to a passionate flirtation and finally matures into a true romance. What makes this work genius is that Byatt wrote the story itself, along with all the letters and poems included in the book. She wrote two different styles of poetry and letters to represent the writing of her two made up poets. And then she includes critical theory based on such philosophers as Derrida, Irigaray, Lacan. I'm fucking blown away. One of the characters in the book writes a theoretical paper based on the notion of phallocentrism (the idea that the masculine is favored in language and it's meaning). There is a touch of everything in this book from Norse and Greek mythology to Victorian beliefs and customs to a slew of -isms--deconstructionism, structuralism, feminism, post-structuralism, etc. I get dizzy with information overload. It spins me off it to so many directions and I find myself seeking out other works that might explain it all: Metamorphoses, Of Grammology, The Sex Which is Not One. I can't get enough of it. I'm like a kid in a candy store. Yet it is truly exhausting and I can only take it in small doses. Eugenides's book is utterly fascinating. It tells the story of a hermaphrodite (hence the title Middlesex). But in order to understand Cal's situation, he must explain his family history. I'm not quite halfway through but everything seems vaguely familiar. There are so many similarities between this book and another favorite, Graham Swift's Waterland that I am surprised they were written by different authors. Swift's book interweaves the tale of the main character, Tom, with the history of the English fens and the mating of eels, which eventually affect his life and those around him. Eugenide's book does the same with his main character, Cal and the history of the wars between the Greeks and Turks with a splash of the Detroit car manufacturing industry. The circumstances of Cal's family history might be scientifically fascinating to some, but, as usual, I'm more interested in the psychological ramifications of such instances. Enough with the literary update. I must move on to more important matters. I have discovered the most amazing website. It's http://www.pandora.com/ and it's commercial free radio. It's actually radio that is customized to you. You put in the name of a band that you like, or even a song, and it will build a radio station around it, including songs and bands that are similar to those you like. I have about 15 artists plugged in and I put it on mix so that I have a good variety of stuff that plays all day. If they play a song I don't like, I just click and it will never play that song again. I can save artists and songs and listen to them whenever I want--FOR FREE! It's pretty awesome for a person who sits at a computer all day. You won't hear the same 20 songs everyday or have to listen to 10 minutes of annoying commercials. I've been telling everyone about it. I think I should get a commission check from pandora. Speaking of music, I had decided to make a list (to go along with my long forgotten top ten list) of my favorite songs, but it just seemed so pointless. What I'd like is for anyone out there who might be reading this (pretty presumptuous of me to assume that anyone is reading this) to come up with some lists for me and I will make a top ten. Then I don't have to think too hard about anything. Any and all suggestions will be greatly appreciated and respectfully considered. Thank you and good night.